Healthy aging month: New training helps people reach out to those with mental health struggles

CATHY WURZER: I had a good friend who used to say bodies are meant to break down. Every body ages every year, bit by bit. If you're lucky, you'll grow older with a pretty healthy body and brain. But as the saying goes, growing older isn't for sissies. It's kind of hard work at times.

Because September is Healthy Aging Month, we thought we'd explore what that means and why some people over the age of 55 struggle with mental health concerns. The University of Minnesota-Extension is offering a new type of training throughout the state, teaching people exactly how to reach out. Sam Roth is an educator with the University of Minnesota-Extension, leading its Healthy Aging Programming. Sam, thanks for taking the time.

SAM ROTH: Thanks for having us.

CATHY WURZER: Sam, I'm wondering, what does healthy aging mean to you?

SAM ROTH: Well, I would say all of us are aging regardless of our age. So it's accepting that and doing things to be able to maintain and improve and looking at our physical, mental, spiritual, financial and our social health as a big picture so that as we age, we still have all of those capabilities and facilities, maybe not the same level we had 20 years ago, but enough so that we can still be independent if we want to and be joyful and have some vigor as we age. So that's what it means to me.

CATHY WURZER: OK, that's a lot. You know how sometimes you get tunnel vision, right? All of a sudden you wake up one day, you look in the mirror and you think, wait a minute, who's that old woman looking at me?

SAM ROTH: Right.

CATHY WURZER: You know, how did that happen? You don't really take the time-- you're just living your life and you kind of have your head down and you don't take the time to look at all these. How do we start the process?

SAM ROTH: Yeah, so it's a continuous process. It's not we want to start it before we wake up and be like, wait a minute, where did that wrinkle come from? And making those lifestyle adaptations to keep us healthy and comfortable, so that could include looking at our diet and is it balanced? Are we getting the vitamins, minerals and fiber we need and drinking enough water? We can make sure we're moving our body.

It may not be the same workout we had in our 20s if we're in our 60s, but taking a walk after meals or getting together and going and doing water aerobics, those sorts of things. It can be looking at our relationships and cultivating social connections with people as we continue to age and as our interests change and grow. And it can also be looking at our health care directives, making sure people aren't taking advantage of our finances and planning for property transfers and inheritance if we have something that we want to pass on, whether it's to loved ones or if it's to a local historical society, maybe you have a cool collection that they would find beneficial. So all of those are things we can look at to be able to be ready and accept the aging process on a regular basis, not just once a year when it's our birthday.

CATHY WURZER: So do it now rather than later. This statistic kind of jumped out at me-- 1 in 5 adults over the age of 55 experience a mental health condition or concern. And I've seen that in my own family. It's sad to watch someone who was so strong and sure of themselves and vibrant kind of fold into themselves mentally. Does that sound familiar to you?

SAM ROTH: It does. As we think about really that social connections and taking care of our mental health and keeping up with local events and stuff, oftentimes, if we have some physical issues or our gut is just not loving us, we may stay at home more than we used to. And so we lose that connection we might have build through our kids and friends and our spiritual connections and places of worship and just being a part of the community. And all of a sudden we realize we don't have anybody to reach out to, necessarily.

Even though there are people who would be happy for you to reach out, you haven't been a part of their life for weeks, months, years, maybe. And then we don't want to put that burden of saying, you know, I need help or I'm lonely or I'm not feeling myself. What do you think I should do?

CATHY WURZER: Sam, I'm wondering, then, about these new trainings from the U of M-Extension. They're called COMET-- C-O-M-E-T. How do they work?

SAM ROTH: Yeah, so COMET stands for Changing Our Mental and Emotional Trajectory. We have a whole bunch in September and we'll continue to offer them throughout the year, some in-person, as well as some via webinar. And they are about 2-hour trainings and you are an active participant. So it's not one where you can just listen. We do ask you to participate, but the whole purpose of COMET is to be able to first just recognize.

And when we think of our wellness and being well, we all kind of know what that looks like. And then we also think of like, what are people in crisis? But there's this whole middle ground that's common that we call vulnerable space, where maybe you woke up and you have a hitch in your knee and it's just not doing it. And so a neighbor addresses and says, hey, I noticed you're kind of limping. Is everything OK?

That could be a COMET conversation and learning how to do that. It could also be noticing somebody who was active in their flowerbeds didn't plant flowers and you haven't seen them outside reading like they normally do. And just kind of wondering like, are they OK? What's going on? And maybe you don't know how to approach them because they're just your neighbor across the street. You might know their name, but not considering them friends, but are also concerned because you've noticed this change in them.

So COMET helps just regular folks, not professionals. I mean, you can be a professional and take the training. But it's a very basic introduction to helping people change-- or not change, but acknowledge maybe something is going on and showing them that you are willing to be there for them. So it's seven questions that we walk participants through to be able to approach that conversation with that neighbor or loved one or coworker to help them move from the vulnerable space back into wellness.

In the training, we're not telling the participants that they're the answer. But they can offer resources. They can be that listening ear. They can be the person who helps the other one acknowledge that, you know what, you're right, maybe I do need to see a doctor, talk to my pastor or talk more to this friend and just relief some of the stress off of me.

CATHY WURZER: Are people maybe concerned that they look like they're nosy when they start asking these questions?

SAM ROTH: Right. So I often-- yes. But often when we ask people, how are you doing, we're good with the answer I'm fine, I'm good. You know, it's a beautiful day. None of those really tell us how anybody is doing. And so being nosy is just asking again, no, really, how are you doing? Or your child, you know, college and school have all started. Like, your children are at school. How is that change going for you?

So we really try to provide these seven questions that we guide people through to not make it feel nosy, to feel like it's a natural conversation that you could have with anybody and not necessarily prying for like in huge details, but just helping them open up and knowing that you're there to listen. And if they're ready to talk, that you will listen.

CATHY WURZER: Sam, quickly here, what kinds of feedback have you heard from folks who've taken the training so far?

SAM ROTH: Quite really good feedback. One of my favorite is we did an in-person training in June and one of the people that attended because she was walking on a walking path and ran into a neighbor's daughter and the neighbor's daughter just kind of told her everything. And she said, I had no idea what to do. Now with this training, I know what to do. Like, I realize I didn't royally screw it up, but I could have been so much better in that situation because it just took me out of the dark.

So for a lot of people, it's just that they're feeling more comfortable in asking, no, really, how are you? Or acknowledging like, hey, you don't seem herself lately. It looks like you've had a rough day, those sorts of things, and that it's OK. Because we also talk about how when you're having a rough day, sometimes somebody's acknowledging it makes you feel seen and heard and you don't think of them as nosy. You think of them as caring and compassionate and positive words as well.

CATHY WURZER: And you can make that great connection, too. So, Sam, if folks want to sign up for the trainings, where do they go?

SAM ROTH: So the easiest place is our Healthy Aging Month web page that has all of our COMET trainings that are being offered in September, as well as other trainings around financial, aging and eating healthy in later life, as well as medicine cabinet-- things to know about your medicine cabinet, that kind of stuff, and safety. So Healthy Aging Month website is found at umn.edu/healthyagingmonth. They can also look at the University of Minnesota-Extension events, and so it'll include all of our Healthy Aging Month, as well as other programs that Extension offers throughout the state.

CATHY WURZER: OK, nicely done. Thank you, Sam.

SAM ROTH: Thank you for having me.

CATHY WURZER: Sam Roth is an educator with the University of Minnesota-Extension, leading its Healthy Aging Programming. By the way, we'll have a link to sign up for these COMET trainings on our website, MPR News.