On the 10th anniversary of legalized gay marriage in Minnesota, an activist remembers the fight for equality

CATHY WURZER: Today marks a number of different historical anniversaries in the state of Minnesota. We will talk about the collapse of the 35W bridge, which occurred on this very date back in 2007, a bit later on in the program. Today also marks the 10th anniversary of marriage equality in Minnesota, a long fought battle that made Minnesota the 12th state to give lesbian, gay, and bisexual people equal marriage rights. We're going to listen to a little of that very first legal same sex wedding that took place in Minnesota 10 years ago today.

RT RYBAK: I, Margaret, take you, Cathy--

MARGARET MILES: I, Margaret, take you, Cathy--

RT RYBAK: --to be my lawfully wedded wife.

MARGARET MILES: --to be my lawfully wedded wife.

[CHEERS]

RT RYBAK: To have and to hold from this day forward--

MARGARET MILES: To have and to hold from this day forward--

RT RYBAK: --for better and for worse

MARGARET MILES: --for better and for worse

RT RYBAK: --to love and to cherish--

MARGARET MILES: --to love and to cherish--

RT RYBAK: --for as long as we both shall live.

MARGARET MILES: --for as long as we both shall live.

RT RYBAK: And Margaret and Cathy, by the power now finally vested in me--

[CHEERS]

--by the law of the people of Minnesota--

[CHEERS]

I do hereby declare that Margaret and Cathy are legally married.

[CHEERS]

CATHY WURZER: That is the sound of Margaret Miles and Cathy ten Broeke's wedding midnight at Minneapolis City Hall 10 years ago to this day, the first legal same-sex wedding in the state of Minnesota. They were married surrounded by a-- obviously, you could hear that-- a crowd of people by former Minneapolis Mayor RT Rybak who married 46 other couples in City Hall in the wee hours of that morning.

One Minnesotan who fought for those rights is Monica Meyer. Monica worked with Minnesotans United for All Families and OutFront Minnesota, which are LGBTQ equality nonprofits. And we're pleased that Monica is on the line right now. Gosh, do you remember that day? Where were you, Monica?

MONICA MEYER: Oh, I was at City Hall. And I mean, I think, every step along the way of winning marriage equality was-- each milestone, it was really-- I don't even think-- I've never-- I don't even know how to explain the experience but just that people were so happy and happy crying and hugging strangers and I think just really feeling so excited and so excited to be in community.

And so excited about the fact that Minnesotans voted against a ban on same-sex couples getting married and that we were able to achieve marriage equality so quickly after that. Yeah, it was just beautiful. It was so gorgeous.

CATHY WURZER: Gosh, do you remember back in the '90s. I mean, when the first polls started to come out about same-sex marriage. '96 is when Gallup first polled about same-sex marriage. 27% supported legalization of same-sex marriage, only 27%. And then like the tide turned. What do you think led to that of how the public viewed same-sex marriage?

MONICA MEYER: Well, I think at that time we had-- there were definitely elected officials who were really doing quite a bit of fear mongering against LGBTQ people and same-sex couples. And we had people really pushing for defining marriage to exclude same-sex couples and to ban it. So we had Defense of Marriage Act that was in Congress and also in most states across the country. And I feel like it was a little bit of a newer issue for a lot of people in the United States.

But I think for those of us who were working for equality, we really knew, OK, we really have to start talking about who we are, not only as coming out as LGBTQ, but also coming out as people in love, and people who have children, and also coming out about the discrimination that same-sex couples faced.

The fact that there were-- up until we got marriage in Minnesota in 2012, we had zero legal protections. And I think when I was working at OutFront Minnesota, the calls we would get were just heartbreaking. I mean, it would be someone in an emergency hospital room calling to say like what can I do? My partner's been in an accident. I have no idea what's going to happen to her. And I'm being told I'm not family.

Or someone desperately calling saying, you know, my mom passed away, and they're not letting her partner accept her body. And so anyway, all that to say it was devastating the stories. And then on the other side of that, it was just-- I think we were able to really because of the constitutional amendment in Minnesota and the work done before that, but we were able to talk to Minnesotans about love. We were able to talk to Minnesotans about who they knew who was LGBTQ. And really it was a campaign that was based on talking about love.

CATHY WURZER: When it comes to lawmakers, they can be tough to deal with, right? So there's the public, but let's talk about the organizing that went into the lobbying of lawmakers to make marriage equality a reality. What was that like?

MONICA MEYER: Well, we were coming off of-- so picture back at the time. So we came off of the big win of defeating the ban of same-sex couples getting married. And then we had to talk to legislators about how Minnesotans voted to knock down this terribly discriminatory constitutional amendment.

But then now is the chance and the opportunity to really go from having zero legal protections for LGBTQ people and their families to having all of the benefits of marriage for people who chose to get married. And It was really based on again firing up Minnesotans to talk about what love means, to talk about what kind of state we want to be and what kind of state we are.

One that doesn't discriminate. One that doesn't want to discriminate against LGBTQ people. And it really was based on Minnesotans talking to their elected officials. That really helped us win marriage equality at the Capitol so quickly, and then able to have marriages start on August 1.

But it really was based again on Minnesotans saying, like what kind of state are we? Are we one that's going to discriminate on people based on who they love and who they are? Or are we a state that's going to come out on the side of love and justice? And Minnesotans decided love and justice.

CATHY WURZER: But I remember, though, some in the community, the LGBTQ community, questioned why the institution of marriage was so important. Do you remember that?

MONICA MEYER: Yeah.

CATHY WURZER: So there was kind of a divergence of opinion within the community. Why was it important to you?

MONICA MEYER: Well, it was important to me because I really just as an organizer with OutFront Minnesota as the executive director, I got to hold so many of people's stories of why they wanted to get married. I worked on health care benefits for the same-sex partners of state employees for years before that because that was some of the only legal protections and only legal way to get health insurance. And I just held the stories of the children who said, what's wrong with my family? Is our family illegal? Should we not be a family? Is there something wrong with us?

And so I really held that to my heart and said we have to fight. Even if marriage isn't the main issue for everyone, the constitutional amendment was put on the ballot by people who really wanted to discriminate against LGBTQ people. We're going to get marriage because it will actually get benefits and rights, and it will help move, I think, Minnesotans to come out on the side of understanding and supporting LGBTQ people.

So to me, it's always about both and throwing everything you can at getting equality. But I really saw that as the perfect opportunity to really have Minnesotans wrestle with what kind of state we want to be, come out on the side of love, I think it's one of the only times that I've ever seen though where you go from having zero benefits to overnight having all of the benefits of an institution that has been around and has--

We used to sit in the before marriage and we'd talk about how many rights and responsibilities there were with marriage and try to look at which ones we could get that would really help protect and honor LGBTQ people and their families.

CATHY WURZER: So final question here for you. Since it's been 10 years since LGBTQ Minnesotans got the right to marry, what is the next frontier when it comes to rights?

MONICA MEYER: Well, I think we're living it right now. I think in Minnesota it's incredible that Minnesotans and elected officials work together to pass a trans refuge bill that really provides protection for trans people and their families and trans children to come to Minnesota for care and for support and that we have a welcoming state.

We banned conversion therapy. I think there's a number of ways that we're showing the country how we can be welcoming and affirming and respectful and that trans people and their families can find justice. That really-- we have-- there were over 460 anti-LGBTQ-led pieces of legislation introduced across the country last year-- this year, I mean. Sorry.

And over 350 of those bills were against transgender people. And a lot of those bills were against transgender children. And so I feel like this is the time when we are asking Minnesotans, we're asking people to really fight for again, being a welcoming state, one that's about love and justice and this time for trans people.

CATHY WURZER: All right. Monica, thank you for your time.

MONICA MEYER: Thank you so much. This was great to talk about. Thank you.

CATHY WURZER: Monica Meyer, the former executive director of OutFront Minnesota.