Helping marriages heal from the ravages of war

March is Women's History Month, and celebrations of women's achievements are taking place around the country. As we reflect on the significant progress made in many parts of the world, we should remember women in conflict zones, like the eastern part of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, who continue to suffer extreme forms of violence and sexual torture.

For a year, I lived in Pweto in Katanga province, working as a psychotherapist in the Triangle of Death in southeastern Congo. I worked closely with Congolese men and women to treat survivors of torture, rape and war trauma. Most of the counselors who worked with us had war trauma histories of their own. Nearly half the country has suffered trauma. Still, these men and women learned how to counsel torture survivors from their communities.

Nearly all of our female clients had been raped, in most cases more than once and by more than one person. After a woman is raped, many marriages do not survive the strain of the immense, external force intruding on their relationships. One or both spouses will withdraw from village life. But many still felt that their spouse was a precious part of their lives. They were searching for ways to cope.

To help them, we launched therapy groups for women who survived rape and their husbands to reestablish deep, intimate connections. In group sessions, couples spoke about the positive aspects of their relationships before the war; about actions a husband or wife might have taken to save the other's life, and about the qualities that they admired in their spouse.

For many couples, the therapy resulted in newfound understanding, compassion for one another and closeness. Many husbands explained that they had blamed their wives for being raped because it was easier to be angry at them than at a soldier over whom they were powerless.

One village chief said that he wanted to help other men understand it was not their wives' fault that they were raped.

Ending the violence against women in the eastern Congo will require Herculean efforts. At the same time that the administration and Congress work to stop the violence and punish perpetrators, we must also expand healing resources for victims.

Last year, at our two treatment centers in eastern Congo, we treated more than a thousand survivors of torture, including those who survived sexual torture and war trauma. The work that our 30 Congolese counselors do at our two centers is not easy. Yet, when women and men who receive treatment go on to steer their lives in a promising new direction, you cannot help but wonder, "Is that all it took?"

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Erin Morgan is a psychotherapist and researcher specializing in the fields of trauma treatment and of couple and family therapy. She currently serves as International Programs Clinical Consultant for the Twin Cities-based Center for Victims of Torture. In the Congo, she worked with hundreds of torture survivors.

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