Thank You, Stranger: How a ‘Buy Nothing’ Facebook group helped a woman rebuild her life

After Anna Hover got sick, she asked for help online. The kindness of her neighbors helped put her life back together.
Courtesy of Anna Hover
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Audio transcript
NINA MOINI: Time now for a new episode of our series called Thank You, Stranger. 10 years ago, when Anna Hoover was at the height of her career and raising her children in St. Paul, she got sick. She asked for help online, and the kindness of her neighbors helped her put her life back together. She talked to MPR producer Ellen Finn about it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ELLEN FINN: Anna, take me back to when you first got sick.
ANNA HOVER: Well, I noticed weird things. I would have extreme fatigue, debilitating, like bedridden. I just could not get up and go to work. Sometimes I couldn't walk well, or I would-- I felt like I always was walking like I was drunk, and my speech would slur sporadically. Extreme depression, anxiety.
ELLEN FINN: And eventually that prevented you from working.
ANNA HOVER: Yes. I worked at a glamorous customer service role for one of the financial companies here and traded stock, lost my profession. Yeah, my home went into foreclosure. It was a really lonely, weird time. I felt misunderstood. I had two degrees, and I didn't feel like I could use them or that I was living to my potential. And I honestly just bellied up. I couldn't keep a job. I lost everything. And I had to go home and live with my family in Mississippi.
ELLEN FINN: So eventually you were diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, right? And I understand that you moved to Iowa to get treatment at the time. How did you make your way back to Minnesota?
ANNA HOVER: A friend called me from here and asked why I hadn't come to visit in so long, and I said I was going to Iowa. And he said, well, we're next door. So I came to visit and never left. So I had three weeks' worth of clothes, all summer, like I'm going to hang out at the lake in bathing suits and flip-flops.
And I was staying in a small spare room in a friend's house that fit a twin bed. And I didn't even have sheets. I had a dirty pillow and a blanket that I threw on top of the bed, on the mattress. A friend told me about Buy Nothing. So I signed up for the Buy Nothing in a Summit Hill neighborhood and started collecting things for an apartment.
ELLEN FINN: And we should say that Buy Nothing, that's the Facebook page where most people post items they want to give back to their neighborhood for free. Do you remember the first things you got from the Buy Nothing page that made a notable difference for you?
ANNA HOVER: Yes. My very first post was in search of a coffeemaker, a TV, and a laptop, which are three extravagant items, in my opinion. What I really needed was the coffeemaker. Five people responded to me. I couldn't believe it. And then the one guy I ended up getting the coffeemaker from, wrote me on my way to his house and said, oh, do you need filters? [LAUGHS] I mean, how amazing is that?
I would keep following the post. I found a piece of art that somebody was giving away from the St. Paul Art Crawl. And just a couple of weeks ago, I got my own apartment. And this apartment is furnished from Buy Nothing. I didn't think I could have my own apartment until I had another bed or a table or dishes. And I didn't have to worry about all that because of things I got off of Buy Nothing.
So it gave me security. It gave me, really, a sense of pride. And it's also made me realize what's really important in life. I mean, in my 20s, I registered for a wedding, and everything had to match, right? But now I'm 45, and I'm living in an apartment furnished off of Buy Nothing. I'm not embarrassed by it. I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I'm very grateful.
ELLEN FINN: And how's your recovery been during all this?
ANNA HOVER: I noticed a change. I mean, I've gained most of my quality of life back. If I told you all I did right now in Minnesota, you'd fall out. I mean, I can't even believe I do all I do.
ELLEN FINN: What do you mean, all you did?
ANNA HOVER: Like, well, currently, I sit on the mayor's Advisory Committee for People With Disabilities. I have service work through the St. Paul Arts Collective. I'm on the Ramsey County 911 Public Safety Advisory Board. I work for the Minnesota Historical Society in Paisley Park, and probably more that I'm forgetting.
ELLEN FINN: How did it make you feel to get such a positive response from people?
ANNA HOVER: It made me feel really happy to be back in Minnesota. I'm from a state that calls themselves the hospitality state, but there is so much hospitality here. The fact that someone can take time out of their day in their life and give-- and without even knowing, they shared more than they could possibly imagine. Minnesotans, to me, are selfless, a little more selfless than other regions of America. It was like, welcome home, and we still love you, even though they were strangers.
NINA MOINI: That was Anna Hover from St. Paul talking to MPR producer Ellen Finn. If you have a story of kindness from strangers, we want to hear it. You can share it at mprnews.org on our Thank You, Stranger page.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ELLEN FINN: Anna, take me back to when you first got sick.
ANNA HOVER: Well, I noticed weird things. I would have extreme fatigue, debilitating, like bedridden. I just could not get up and go to work. Sometimes I couldn't walk well, or I would-- I felt like I always was walking like I was drunk, and my speech would slur sporadically. Extreme depression, anxiety.
ELLEN FINN: And eventually that prevented you from working.
ANNA HOVER: Yes. I worked at a glamorous customer service role for one of the financial companies here and traded stock, lost my profession. Yeah, my home went into foreclosure. It was a really lonely, weird time. I felt misunderstood. I had two degrees, and I didn't feel like I could use them or that I was living to my potential. And I honestly just bellied up. I couldn't keep a job. I lost everything. And I had to go home and live with my family in Mississippi.
ELLEN FINN: So eventually you were diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, right? And I understand that you moved to Iowa to get treatment at the time. How did you make your way back to Minnesota?
ANNA HOVER: A friend called me from here and asked why I hadn't come to visit in so long, and I said I was going to Iowa. And he said, well, we're next door. So I came to visit and never left. So I had three weeks' worth of clothes, all summer, like I'm going to hang out at the lake in bathing suits and flip-flops.
And I was staying in a small spare room in a friend's house that fit a twin bed. And I didn't even have sheets. I had a dirty pillow and a blanket that I threw on top of the bed, on the mattress. A friend told me about Buy Nothing. So I signed up for the Buy Nothing in a Summit Hill neighborhood and started collecting things for an apartment.
ELLEN FINN: And we should say that Buy Nothing, that's the Facebook page where most people post items they want to give back to their neighborhood for free. Do you remember the first things you got from the Buy Nothing page that made a notable difference for you?
ANNA HOVER: Yes. My very first post was in search of a coffeemaker, a TV, and a laptop, which are three extravagant items, in my opinion. What I really needed was the coffeemaker. Five people responded to me. I couldn't believe it. And then the one guy I ended up getting the coffeemaker from, wrote me on my way to his house and said, oh, do you need filters? [LAUGHS] I mean, how amazing is that?
I would keep following the post. I found a piece of art that somebody was giving away from the St. Paul Art Crawl. And just a couple of weeks ago, I got my own apartment. And this apartment is furnished from Buy Nothing. I didn't think I could have my own apartment until I had another bed or a table or dishes. And I didn't have to worry about all that because of things I got off of Buy Nothing.
So it gave me security. It gave me, really, a sense of pride. And it's also made me realize what's really important in life. I mean, in my 20s, I registered for a wedding, and everything had to match, right? But now I'm 45, and I'm living in an apartment furnished off of Buy Nothing. I'm not embarrassed by it. I'm thrilled. I'm happy. I'm very grateful.
ELLEN FINN: And how's your recovery been during all this?
ANNA HOVER: I noticed a change. I mean, I've gained most of my quality of life back. If I told you all I did right now in Minnesota, you'd fall out. I mean, I can't even believe I do all I do.
ELLEN FINN: What do you mean, all you did?
ANNA HOVER: Like, well, currently, I sit on the mayor's Advisory Committee for People With Disabilities. I have service work through the St. Paul Arts Collective. I'm on the Ramsey County 911 Public Safety Advisory Board. I work for the Minnesota Historical Society in Paisley Park, and probably more that I'm forgetting.
ELLEN FINN: How did it make you feel to get such a positive response from people?
ANNA HOVER: It made me feel really happy to be back in Minnesota. I'm from a state that calls themselves the hospitality state, but there is so much hospitality here. The fact that someone can take time out of their day in their life and give-- and without even knowing, they shared more than they could possibly imagine. Minnesotans, to me, are selfless, a little more selfless than other regions of America. It was like, welcome home, and we still love you, even though they were strangers.
NINA MOINI: That was Anna Hover from St. Paul talking to MPR producer Ellen Finn. If you have a story of kindness from strangers, we want to hear it. You can share it at mprnews.org on our Thank You, Stranger page.
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