How to manage the financial anxieties behind 'money dysmorphia'
Money dysmorphia is not an actual diagnosis. Still, there are many people who feel insecure about their finances, even though they actually may be doing fine.
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It’s hard for a lot of people to feel good about their finances and their future. Now there’s a new term for that: money dysmorphia.
It borrows from the term “body dysmorphia,” a mental health condition that causes a person to obsess about a perceived physical flaw.
Money dysmorphia is not an actual diagnosis. Still, there are many people who feel insecure about their finances, even though they actually may be doing fine.
If you feel that way, you are not alone. In fact, a survey earlier this year found 43 percent of Gen Z respondents and 41 percent of millennial respondents said they experienced money dysmorphia.
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To understand more about this and where it comes from, MPR News guest host Nina Moini talks with Kim Miller, a financial counselor with Lutheran Social Services.
Use the audio player above to listen to the full conversation.
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Audio transcript
NINA MOINI: It's Minnesota Now. I'm Nina Moini in for Cathy Wurzer. It's hard for a lot of people to feel good about their finances and their future. And now there's a new term for it. It's called money dysmorphia. It borrows from the term body dysmorphia, a mental health condition that causes a person to obsess about a perceived physical flaw.
While money dysmorphia is not an actual diagnosis, there are many people who feel insecure about their finances, even though they actually may be doing fine. And if you feel that way, you're not alone.
In fact, a survey earlier this year found 43% of Gen Z respondents and 41% of Millennial respondents said they experienced money dysmorphia. To understand more about this and where it comes from, we're turning to Kim Miller, a financial counselor with Lutheran Social Services. Hi, Kim. Thanks for being with us.
KIM MILLER: Hi, Nina. Thanks for having me.
NINA MOINI: I wonder to start, what do you think about this term "money dysmorphia?"
KIM MILLER: Well, I think that makes sense. We see that a lot in the people that we work with in the workshops that I have. People just have a fear of the future and unknown, and they want the reassurance and the confidence that it will be OK for them going forward if something were to happen. And so I think people just want to feel prepared and sometimes it can turn into just a constant worry that they aren't going to be prepared when something bad may happen.
NINA MOINI: And where do you think that feeling comes from for people?
KIM MILLER: So there might be a number of different ways where it comes from. The past couple of years with increased costs and things outside of our control may have let people feel like anything could happen. Like, you can't predict it. And so that might create some kind of panic there.
It also can relate to how we have our internal money scripts and how we might have grown up with money in the past based on specific experiences, or lack of money, or a job loss, things like that that can alter our confidence in the future.
And then ultimately, too, I think over the past-- as technology has grown the past couple of years, there may just be an overall decision fatigue. There are so many options to choose from and how to handle our money and what to do. And people may just feel like, well, gosh, like, if I don't understand everything, then I must not be doing OK.
NINA MOINI: Sure. And I wonder how someone would come to terms with-- are they having a perception that's not real and they're actually fine, or do they really need to make some changes, make a budget? How would you distinguish if someone is reacting kind of properly to their situation?
KIM MILLER: Well, I think there are some tips to handle money dysmorphia in various ways. And I think one way is to find some few grounding points of data for reassurance and to check in to see where am I, and what does the data say as far as how I'm handling money.
And so one is, are all of your major bills being paid on time? And so if they are, then that's great. If they aren't, then that might be a key indicator of maybe there might be a trusted place I can talk to to create a plan to make sure that the bills are paid on time.
And so when you're dealing with your money, trying to keep it as simple as possible. And so there are various systems and budgets. But I would say just find a few points of data as far as what major bills do I need to pay. What do I have coming up in the next week that I'm looking forward to to help you focus on the future? And then, do I have the funds for that?
And then also another key point that can help people for reassurance and also to check in to see if they're OK money wise is, what's a really sick amount of savings that will give me peace of mind? And creating a number. Sometimes people just have everything in their head, but to actually write down a number of is it $250, is it 500, is it $1,000?
And then having that benchmark so that if you do have the savings, you can give yourself the reassurance. But then also, if you aren't quite there, that's OK. And then what are some-- now you have the number. How can you slowly set aside that money going forward to reach that goal?
NINA MOINI: Yeah, we know a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck. Kim, it used to be you maybe looked outside at the neighbors and what they had going on and maybe did some comparison. But nowadays we know with social media.
And there's TikToks of people talking about their budgeting or they're talking about brand deals and expensive trips that they're on. How do you think the perception of social media and what's going on with other people impacts how people perceive their own situation with their finances?
KIM MILLER: Sure. I think it is hard to stay content when you can always see what could be elsewhere.
NINA MOINI: Sure.
KIM MILLER: And to know that and has access to all these different perspectives and opportunities. And so I can see how that can generate a sense of missing out, and things like that. And so it's important to remember, we only see one curated moment in time. We don't see all the other stuff.
And so it's always at-- for me, it's to ask like, is this just a reel or is this actually reality, that type of thing? And it preys on our emotions, and it results into people getting taken advantage of to. Online shopping scams are very prevalent with the younger generation coming from social media because they see these perfect things, and they want that. And it turns out the product is not even real.
NINA MOINI: Sure. And it's interesting. There was another recent report this week that found even millionaires don't think they're wealthy. What does that tell you?
KIM MILLER: I think it just tells us that you're not alone. I guess it's normal to feel this way no matter what level of income you are. I think it's great that we're talking about it. I think a lot of times in the past, we suffered in silence with shame and guilt about money and not knowing about things. And so I am glad that we are talking about it more and having more money conversations.
And I think it's just OK to just voice it. And then also find ways, again, to ground yourself, find ways for reassurance, talk about your values, and knowing that your savings is there as a debt prevention tool. And sometimes when we have to use it, it feels bad. And so are there ways we can build resiliency to work through those feelings of panic and to kind of be kinder to ourselves about money?
I can't tell you how many times I hear people say like, oh, I'm bad with money. I don't know where my money is going. And I wouldn't want anyone to say that about themselves. I think there's always room for us to grow. And what are steps that you can take to be kinder to yourself and to learn more and feel more confident?
NINA MOINI: Yeah, there's psychology behind spending and there's emotions and what your mindset should be with all of that in mind. If people are looking for help, what services does Lutheran Social Services provide, or what would you recommend to people who are looking for some help to really deal with their finances?
KIM MILLER: Yes. Well, yeah, thanks. Our agency has been around for 30 years, more than 30 years, and we have been a trusted, non-judgmental service. The best feedback that we get when people come and make an appointment with us is that they feel heard and they don't feel ashamed or judged.
We're here to help people work out their day-to-day finances and creating a spending plan, taking a look at their income and living expenses. We can help pull a credit report, understand what's out there, how to build credit. And it's all a free service.
And so we're here to help you just to kind of get those data points, get that reassurance. Sometimes people just say, hey, I knew I was on the right track, but it's nice to get that second opinion and to have those check points in there, too.
There are also other wonderful, great agencies, nonprofit agencies as well that offer financial coaching, too. But I would say just try to find a trusted person and get some support from your friends and family as well and continue to gather information to build your financial health.
NINA MOINI: Well, knowledge is power. So we can't stay in that kind of learned helplessness. Thank you so much, Kim, for all of your tips. We really appreciate your time.
KIM MILLER: Yeah, thank you.
NINA MOINI: Kim Miller is a financial counselor with Lutheran Social Services.
While money dysmorphia is not an actual diagnosis, there are many people who feel insecure about their finances, even though they actually may be doing fine. And if you feel that way, you're not alone.
In fact, a survey earlier this year found 43% of Gen Z respondents and 41% of Millennial respondents said they experienced money dysmorphia. To understand more about this and where it comes from, we're turning to Kim Miller, a financial counselor with Lutheran Social Services. Hi, Kim. Thanks for being with us.
KIM MILLER: Hi, Nina. Thanks for having me.
NINA MOINI: I wonder to start, what do you think about this term "money dysmorphia?"
KIM MILLER: Well, I think that makes sense. We see that a lot in the people that we work with in the workshops that I have. People just have a fear of the future and unknown, and they want the reassurance and the confidence that it will be OK for them going forward if something were to happen. And so I think people just want to feel prepared and sometimes it can turn into just a constant worry that they aren't going to be prepared when something bad may happen.
NINA MOINI: And where do you think that feeling comes from for people?
KIM MILLER: So there might be a number of different ways where it comes from. The past couple of years with increased costs and things outside of our control may have let people feel like anything could happen. Like, you can't predict it. And so that might create some kind of panic there.
It also can relate to how we have our internal money scripts and how we might have grown up with money in the past based on specific experiences, or lack of money, or a job loss, things like that that can alter our confidence in the future.
And then ultimately, too, I think over the past-- as technology has grown the past couple of years, there may just be an overall decision fatigue. There are so many options to choose from and how to handle our money and what to do. And people may just feel like, well, gosh, like, if I don't understand everything, then I must not be doing OK.
NINA MOINI: Sure. And I wonder how someone would come to terms with-- are they having a perception that's not real and they're actually fine, or do they really need to make some changes, make a budget? How would you distinguish if someone is reacting kind of properly to their situation?
KIM MILLER: Well, I think there are some tips to handle money dysmorphia in various ways. And I think one way is to find some few grounding points of data for reassurance and to check in to see where am I, and what does the data say as far as how I'm handling money.
And so one is, are all of your major bills being paid on time? And so if they are, then that's great. If they aren't, then that might be a key indicator of maybe there might be a trusted place I can talk to to create a plan to make sure that the bills are paid on time.
And so when you're dealing with your money, trying to keep it as simple as possible. And so there are various systems and budgets. But I would say just find a few points of data as far as what major bills do I need to pay. What do I have coming up in the next week that I'm looking forward to to help you focus on the future? And then, do I have the funds for that?
And then also another key point that can help people for reassurance and also to check in to see if they're OK money wise is, what's a really sick amount of savings that will give me peace of mind? And creating a number. Sometimes people just have everything in their head, but to actually write down a number of is it $250, is it 500, is it $1,000?
And then having that benchmark so that if you do have the savings, you can give yourself the reassurance. But then also, if you aren't quite there, that's OK. And then what are some-- now you have the number. How can you slowly set aside that money going forward to reach that goal?
NINA MOINI: Yeah, we know a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck. Kim, it used to be you maybe looked outside at the neighbors and what they had going on and maybe did some comparison. But nowadays we know with social media.
And there's TikToks of people talking about their budgeting or they're talking about brand deals and expensive trips that they're on. How do you think the perception of social media and what's going on with other people impacts how people perceive their own situation with their finances?
KIM MILLER: Sure. I think it is hard to stay content when you can always see what could be elsewhere.
NINA MOINI: Sure.
KIM MILLER: And to know that and has access to all these different perspectives and opportunities. And so I can see how that can generate a sense of missing out, and things like that. And so it's important to remember, we only see one curated moment in time. We don't see all the other stuff.
And so it's always at-- for me, it's to ask like, is this just a reel or is this actually reality, that type of thing? And it preys on our emotions, and it results into people getting taken advantage of to. Online shopping scams are very prevalent with the younger generation coming from social media because they see these perfect things, and they want that. And it turns out the product is not even real.
NINA MOINI: Sure. And it's interesting. There was another recent report this week that found even millionaires don't think they're wealthy. What does that tell you?
KIM MILLER: I think it just tells us that you're not alone. I guess it's normal to feel this way no matter what level of income you are. I think it's great that we're talking about it. I think a lot of times in the past, we suffered in silence with shame and guilt about money and not knowing about things. And so I am glad that we are talking about it more and having more money conversations.
And I think it's just OK to just voice it. And then also find ways, again, to ground yourself, find ways for reassurance, talk about your values, and knowing that your savings is there as a debt prevention tool. And sometimes when we have to use it, it feels bad. And so are there ways we can build resiliency to work through those feelings of panic and to kind of be kinder to ourselves about money?
I can't tell you how many times I hear people say like, oh, I'm bad with money. I don't know where my money is going. And I wouldn't want anyone to say that about themselves. I think there's always room for us to grow. And what are steps that you can take to be kinder to yourself and to learn more and feel more confident?
NINA MOINI: Yeah, there's psychology behind spending and there's emotions and what your mindset should be with all of that in mind. If people are looking for help, what services does Lutheran Social Services provide, or what would you recommend to people who are looking for some help to really deal with their finances?
KIM MILLER: Yes. Well, yeah, thanks. Our agency has been around for 30 years, more than 30 years, and we have been a trusted, non-judgmental service. The best feedback that we get when people come and make an appointment with us is that they feel heard and they don't feel ashamed or judged.
We're here to help people work out their day-to-day finances and creating a spending plan, taking a look at their income and living expenses. We can help pull a credit report, understand what's out there, how to build credit. And it's all a free service.
And so we're here to help you just to kind of get those data points, get that reassurance. Sometimes people just say, hey, I knew I was on the right track, but it's nice to get that second opinion and to have those check points in there, too.
There are also other wonderful, great agencies, nonprofit agencies as well that offer financial coaching, too. But I would say just try to find a trusted person and get some support from your friends and family as well and continue to gather information to build your financial health.
NINA MOINI: Well, knowledge is power. So we can't stay in that kind of learned helplessness. Thank you so much, Kim, for all of your tips. We really appreciate your time.
KIM MILLER: Yeah, thank you.
NINA MOINI: Kim Miller is a financial counselor with Lutheran Social Services.
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